Monday, November 21, 2011

I miss my cleaning service.

When my marriage was on the rocks, I convinced the STBX that we get a cleaning service. I had wanted one for a long time, but couldn't justify the money until I was a working Mom with an infant and a less than supportive husband.  The biweekly cleaning service started concurrent with the biweekly marriage counseling and I miss the former now as much as I loathed the latter then.

Something has got to give somewhere or I am not sleeping for at least another year.

Maybe when my divorce becomes final, I'll actually find the time to sleep and get everything done. For now, I am struggling trying to keep up with everything I want to do, everything I have to do and those pesky things I ought to do. And it just occurred to me, writing that sentence out, that that is the order of which I have been doing most things these days. My emotions have been on such a roller coaster ride since I packed up my son, dog and life and moved 400+ miles from my marital "home" in VA back to my real home, where I was born and raised. Doing things that appeal to me over things that need or ought to get done has been my way of dealing, I guess ... and that needs to stop. Like, yesterday.

The act of physically separating took three weeks between packing, moving, unpacking (somewhat) and finding C suitable daycare near the house I am renting. So that leaves me entering the holiday season about three weeks behind with work, living in a house only about two thirds of the way unpacked and less than halfway cleaned to my standard of clean, trying to manage the paperwork aspects of the short sale of said marital "home" and the beginning stages of our divorce (did I mention that I have ADHD and piles of unfilled paperwork are my nemesis?)  .... and all while being a full-time single Mom ...

Until I sit down and figure out a new budget and future savings plan, I can't even think about hiring a cleaning service. But seriously, I need a house manager to take care of all the stuff that needs to get done in order for me to sit down and figure out my budget.  And I know without even looking at all of my bills that winning the lottery is a more likely scenario than the fantasy where I can afford to pay someone to take care of all my piles of crap and do things like order, address and mail out Christmas cards.

It is a catch-22 and this blog post is nothing but me procrastinating from doing something that needs to get done. Once again, I chose to do something I wanted to do because it made me feel better for a fleeting moment. As soon as I push "publish" that moment will be gone.

3 comments:

  1. ((hugs)) I am sorry that you are struggling right now with getting things in order and packing etc. It is overwhelming, and sometimes help is just what you need to get through. We're all here virtually supporting you along the way (and being a type A person, I'd *totally* clean and manage for you...haha, love that stuff! I know, I am weird).

    ReplyDelete
  2. I want to come help you out for a little bit. I must see if I can do this for you sometime.

    ReplyDelete
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