Monday, January 30, 2012

Pseudo Long-Distance


I’m a single parent. Mr. Handsome is a single parent.

We both work.

Saying our time together is “limited” would be a laughable understatement if I didn’t miss him so ridiculously most of the time. So, while I’m not exactly laughing, I am trying to make the best of it. Trying would be the operative word. Flailing is more what it feels like 99.9% of the time. At least on my end. I get the feeling from him that he’s managing the aspects of our relationship that make us feel like we live 300 miles apart, instead of just 30 or so, a lot better than I am. Maybe that’s an illusion, or maybe he’s just more mature, patient, and reasonable than I am.

Who knows?

All I really know is that I need to try and focus on the positives of our little predicament before I go stir crazy. I am an impatient woman. When it comes to my dating history, I’ve been accustomed to having what I want, when I want it. Never in my life have these flaws of mine (ADHD, anyone?) been more apparent than now. I’ve never been involved in a real long-distance relationship in all my life, and I’m certainly starting to think I avoided such predicaments in past relationships on purpose. In fact, I can’t think of one instance where I’ve dated someone that wasn’t as available as I wanted them to be (within reason, of course). So, needless to say, this pseudo long-distance thing is throwing me for a loop.

I’m antsy.

I’m impatient.

Sometimes, I think that it sucks.

If falling for someone with limited availability is supposed to be some sort of learning experience, I’m certainly paying attention.

As previously let on, I am sort-of falling head over heels for Mr. Handsome. For the first time in my life I may have picked someone I’m actually compatible with. There’s also an undeniable connection and set-the-room-on-fire chemistry, so I’m pretty sure that sticking it out to see where it goes is totally worth it.

I’m willing to look on the bright side of the pseudo-distance:

     1.) I’m forced to take it slow. I’m an impulsive person, who’s not only in-tune with my feelings but who also wears them on my sleeve; it’s not hard to see how I could rush into something too fast. Like a fool. I’m supposed to be starting over wonderful, living phenomenal and all that happy crap here. I can’t be acting like a fool.

     2.) Infatuation-induced foolishness aside, the infatuation itself is real and we both know that for a fact. There’s no guessing, just as there are no games. If we didn't really like one another, neither of us would bother with the other. We’re both too unavailable and busy raising our respective kids alone to waste the precious time we do have playing mind games about how we feel.  

If those two positives are not representative of a foundation for building something healthy and meaningful, then I am still as stupid about relationships as I was more than half a decade ago when I was first dating the STBX.  I would like to think that is not the case. Otherwise, why the hell am I writing this blog? No one wants to take advice from a self-proclaimed moron. 

6 comments:

  1. Sometimes having to take it slow is a good thing...even if it feels sucky, at the same time. You are far too self-aware to rush into anything, so I think you will be just fine in that department :)

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    1. Sometimes I think I am too self aware, LOL!

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  2. I love that you make a list of what's so awesome about it. I can do relate to a lot that you're saying here. I too am impatient by nature but I've been 'forced' by circumstances that I am smitten by someone who is on the other side of my world. How's that for a long distance? LOL! I say enjoy it, girl :)

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    1. Ugh, real physical distance like that has got to be so hard!

      I read this the other day though, and it is such a nice quote: "Distance is not for the fearful, it is for the bold. It's for those who are willing to spend a lot of time alone in exchange for a little time with the one they love. It's for those knowing a good thing when they see it, even if they don't see it nearly enough..."

      Read more: http://www.lovingfromadistance.com/quotes.html#ixzz1lKwYHdDc

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  3. There are lots of positives to being in a long distance relationship, I think (or pseudo long distance, as the case may be for you). I like the fact that I'm given the time to focus on myself and my life with my kids outside of my relationship. I love our "reunions". I love that we choose to spend our precious time together focused on our relationship. I know how tough it is, but if you keep focused on the good stuff, you won't spend as much time thinking about the drawbacks.... :)

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    1. Your optimism reminds me of my Mr. Handsome. He is such a natural optimist. I am a worrier and a tad on the over-analytic side. Just a tad *smirk*

      For the first time though, I'm with someone that actually is able to instinctively empathize with my worry and over analysis ... even if he doesn't necessarily look at things the same way. His empathy with my feelings is sincere and naturally, I find myself immediately comforted by his optimism. It's nice. :)

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