Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Thank you, DivorcedBefore30.com

Please head over and check out my guest post, "The Day I Knew" over on the awesome Divorced Before 30 blog. I admittedly stalked divorce support blogs and the like when I was contemplating leaving my marriage and DivorcedBefore30.com was one of the ones out there that I frequented during the decision phase of leaving, so I am truly honored to be featured.  And to be the first parent to guest post ... my head is already swelling!! I'm going to have big hair and a big head if I don't come down to earth soon. I should go down and spend an hour or so in my trashed laundry room for some self-imposed deflation of my ego.

Anyway, a few weeks after that day, the day I knew, I went back and looked over the photographs I had taken. This one of C just says it all for me. Even though he had fun at the farm just being a kid and even though he seemed oblivious to the war going on between his parents, the truth is right there in his eyes. When I look at this picture, I know for sure -- beyond any doubt that ever was -- that leaving my very bad marriage was the absolute very best thing I could do for my child. I am grateful that I had the strength and support to get out while he is too young to remember all of the fighting, all of the dysfunction and all of the tears. I am thankful to courageous, strong and beautifully talented women out there like those found at DivorcedBefore30.com for sharing their stories, their kindness, their heartache and, ultimately, their love and support on the web.

Without them, I might still be married and miserable. I might still be dying a slow death. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

7 comments:

  1. This post gave me chills. That look in his eyes DOES say it all (and what a gorgeous boy you have!!), doesn't it? I loved reading your guest post and love what Emma is doing for the DB30 crew ;-) XOXO

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  2. I think the web is one of the most empowering resources. I turned to it when I was lost and couldn't find my way out. Women like you and Emma and others provided me with the encouragement that I needed to believe in myself. To believe that not only would leaving save me and my son from a lifetime of dysfunctional pain and messed up living, but it would allow me to find myself again and be all that I can be. Which is wonderful. In my marriage, I had forgotten how great life is and I had forgotten how much I have to offer the world. Women like you and Emma and all the other brave divorcees out there sharing their stories have helped me so much. I will not only survive, but I will thrive. We all will! :)

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  3. Thank YOU! I am sure that your blog will help countless other people, too. Keep up the great work!

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  4. I hope so, Emma! And I plan on it. Blogging through this journey has to be the best therapy I could ask for. The most important person to me that I am helping with it is myself. If I help out ONE other person somewhere out there by sharing my story, my trials and my tribulations ... well, that makes is all the more worth my while. Love to you! Thanks for all the traffic, btw. And if you want me to write another guest post someday just send me a message. I would be happy to!

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  5. that is a sad picture, but, like you said...you knew you were doing the right thing. good for you! doing the right thing more often than not is NOT the easiest thing to do...

    congrats on getting the guest post, too!!!

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  6. Totally agree. Doing the right thing is usually way harder.

    Leaving was hard at first, but I've moved on fairly swiftly since I had already grieved so much IN the marriage itself. Now I am just taking the lessons learned and running with them. I know that staying would have been easier in the short term, but way more traumatic and painful in the long term. And I would never have become the person I was truly meant to be. I would have died a slow miserable death instead. Oh and hey, I never would have started this blog or got to guest post on divorcedbefore30!

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    Replies
    1. Great post with great info. Had a good look around on your site and I will be back!
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