Thursday, September 27, 2012

Learning My Truths, Episode 4: I am blessed

In just about two weeks it will be one whole year since the STBX and I separated and although I haven't been able to move on in a legal sense because of recent douchery and stall tactics dished out by the STBX, I have been able to move forward in so many other ways that I'm even amazed at my own progress on this journey.  I'm frustrated at times still and I truly wish the STBX would just let us get divorced already, but in spite of him I'm still at peace most of the time.


Is there a silver lining to divorce? If you asked me that question a year ago, I might have hesitated in answering. Today, I jump at the opportunity to tell you that the answer to that question is a big wonderful "YES!!!"

My divorce process thus far has taught me more than I think I can even describe.  It's been difficult and stressful and there have been many ups and downs in starting over.  I've made wrong turns, poor decisions and I've let myself and others down in the times that I've stumbled along unfamiliar paths.  However, more often than not, I've also found my way out the of darkness, made more positive and healthier choices than I ever have before in my life and I've learned how to encourage and support others even when I feel like I'm failing.

Some say marriage is a blessing (and I still believe it can be) but in my case these days, divorce brings with it many blessings no matter how high conflict and complicated.  Every lesson is a blessing in disguise.  Divorce has taught me to count those blessings.

In starting over I have been blessed to learn:

- what I really want out of life and how to go after it

- that it is okay to make mistakes and to fail sometimes

- how to truly be independent and self-reliant

- what it really means to love someone and to be committed to someone completely without losing your sense of self

- how strong, courageous and resilient I really am

- how to be more patient and understanding

- how to be a better mother 

- what empathy is and why some people don't have it

- when to emotionally detach from certain situations

- to trust myself

- that when you're discouraged the best thing you can do is to try and encourage others

Have you been through the divorce process? What did it teach you? Did you count those lessons as blessings?

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